How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Her Perspective
So your breakup sucked and everything went horribly wrong. Welcome to almost every breakup in the world. It happens. No matter what caused the breakup or how bad it was, there are ways to get your ex-girlfriend back. If you take the correct actions at the correct time you can find yourself back together quicker than you imagined. It’s simply a matter of knowing what to do and when.
In the beginning when you first started dating your ex, things were probably wonderful. You established deep emotional bonds and everything felt amazing. You couldn’t wait to spend time together, and you got butterflies in your stomach every time you thought about her. It’s not that hard to get those feelings back. You can get your ex-girlfriend to remember the past fondly and want to get back to that time again. This time you can make things better and move forward in a healthy, positive relationship.
Can I Get Her Back Fast?
The truth of the matter is that there is no magic fix to repair a broken relationship. There’s not a series of moves that you can do at home to make her suddenly wake up and realize that she’s made a mistake. You can’t simply utter a bunch of words and PRESTO! She’s back in your life. It doesn’t work that way. You can get started now, but you have to be patient. Some of these things take time, and that’s okay.
To-Do List Before Your Ex Will Come Back
– Honestly examine the breakup and find out why she ended the relationship
– Take a look at your behavior and stop anything that is pushing her away from you
– Work to positively improve yourself to get her attraction back
– Find out how to create the initial energy your relationship used to have
– Learn how to communicate with your ex and what things not to say
– Get her to chance her perception about you and get her to miss you
The quicker you can learn the things listed above and start checking them off the list, the quicker you can find yourself in a position to start trying to rekindle your relationship. You need to start making progress in the right direction, and just throwing yourself into any action isn’t enough. You need to take the right steps at the right times in order to maximize your results.
Should I Give Up if She’s Already Dating?
Seeing that your ex-girlfriend is moving on by getting into a relationship with another guy can be extremely disheartening, and you may think that all hope is lost. That’s not necessarily the case. Rebound relationships are prevalent when one person doesn’t want to work on the issues that came up during their breakup, and rebound relationships simply don’t last. By diving into a new relationship, your ex is trying to avoid dealing with her feelings for you. That new relationship simply won’t measure up.
Seeing her with someone else can actually mean that your chances for reconciliation are good. It is possible to take her new relationship and use it to your advantage. It’s not that hard to get the interest of your ex back from her new guy. By inserting yourself into her life at this time, you can set yourself up for when it falls apart and put yourself in a prime position.
Just because she’s seeing someone else doesn’t mean that you’ve been kicked to the curb. You’re still on her mind no matter how much she tries to deny it. You can get your ex to start thinking positively about you and your relationship again without a lot of extra effort.
She Won’t Call Me Back
Take a deep breath and don’t panic. There are a lot of reasons why your ex may not be calling you back or return your texts or messages. No situation is completely hopeless as long as you’re still willing to make the effort. You need to focus on your own behavior and avoid some of the common pitfalls often associated with breakup scenarios and make sure you’re doing what you need to do when you need to do it.
If you’re noticing that your ex is losing interest in you or talking with you, getting on with their own life, moving on and moving past your former relationship, avoiding your calls, are always busy instead of wanting to talk or never seem to be around when you’re calling, you may be a little uncomfortable. These signs don’t necessarily mean that her decision to leave you is set in stone. There are some techniques that go outside the box that can work in even the most hopeless of circumstances. You just need to change the way she sees you and get her mindset to change. It’s not as hard as it sounds.
She Wants a Friendship – What Should I Do?
Realize that if your ex-girlfriend is asking for a friendship, she still wants to have you in her daily life. She doesn’t want to walk away completely, and that can be a positive sign. Don’t fall into the traps often associated with the road of friendship. You need your ex to see you as a potential romantic partner again and not in a friendly way.
If you’re already involved in a platonic friendship with your ex-girlfriend, you can turn the situation around. They key thing to do is to start to pull away. You want your ex to get the sense that she is losing her hold on you and you could be starting to move on without her. Right now she is counting on your friendship and hasn’t considered the possibility that you wouldn’t be a part of her life. There are specific actions you can take at this time to make a romance more appealing. Get her to see you as a potential partner again, and her feelings towards you will soon change.
I Cheated – Can I Still Get Her Back?
While the normal methods for rekindling a relationship with your ex may not be successful in the case of infidelity, there are other methods that will. Your ex not only feels betrayed and hurt but she feels insecure about herself and her position as well. This situation doesn’t have to mean the end of the road. In some ways it can be easier to regain your relationship after an affair than if your breakup happened for another reason – her feelings for you never changed. She’s just too upset to recognize that they’re still there in the heat of the moment.
Rebuilding the trust that was lost because of your affair is the key to getting your relationship back. If you cannot rebuild the trust that was broken, you have no hope of a lasting successful relationship. In order to move past an affair on either side, you need to forgive and agree to move forward without being chained to the past.
No girl leaves a relationship without having some second thoughts. She wants to see how the breakup is affecting the guy she left behind – but this is to make her feel better and has nothing to do with you.
Now Is the Time to Take Action
Sitting on the couch eating pizza and playing the latest video game or watching football is not going to get you your ex-girlfriend back. If you sincerely want to rekindle your romance, it’s time to get up and do something about it. You just don’t want to do what she’s expecting. Your ex wants to see you falling apart right now. She expects you to scream, yell, throw things, pitch a fit and take any drastic measures possible to try and get her to change her mind about leaving you. She’s looking for evidence that you care about her and probably looking to justify her reasons for leaving you.
If you show her that you’re sad, you’re proving that you cared about her. If she sees you cry, she’ll know that leaving you had an effect on you. She wants to know that she was cared for even if she’s not interested in being with you right now. This proves that you weren’t just a waste of her time and that you were just as invested in the relationship as she was.
Remember that she has a reason for leaving you. In her mind, those reasons are valid no matter how stupid they may seem on the surface to you or anyone else. If you start groveling at her feet begging for another chance, she’ll feel like her reasons for leaving were correct and that she made the right choice. The last thing you want to do is give her the impression that she really can do better.
If a guy spends his time after a breakup acting desperately or impulsively, it’s a turn off. The more you fight her, the more confident of her decision she becomes. She’s not attracted to a guy who was clearly more interested in her than she was in him. She thinks she’s in a position of power now and that she has the upper hand. She knows that you’ll chase after her because you want her back. The more you try to convince her to give you another chance, the less respect she’ll have for you as a person – and the more you push, the farther away she’ll go.
No matter what you do at this point, you’re playing into her hands – you’re stuck in an endless loop with no end in sight. You need to take action and realize that everything you do has an impact.
Your Best First Move
If your breakup hit you completely unexpectedly and you didn’t see it coming, it’s probably hitting you really hard. You need to pick yourself up from the ground, dig the stiletto out of your still-beating heart and figure out where to go from here. Immediately following the breakup is the pivotal moment where you need to exercise caution. You can’t afford to throw yourself a pity party right now, and chugging a case of beer isn’t going to help clear your mind. You need to get going and take the best possible steps to reconnect your relationship, and you need to start now.
Don’t Resist The Breakup
Your number one advantage in any breakup situation is to let it happen without fighting her choice to leave. No matter what choice words are running through your mind as she’s spewing her breakup in your general direction, hold your tongue. She has made her decision and at this point, you can’t make her rethink that choice. The last thing you want is another screaming match. Just put your hands in your pockets and wait until she leaves before you start hitting the wall.
This advice goes against every single natural inclination you have and it’s hard. You’ll want to answer the points she’s making and show her why she’s wrong. You’ll want to get a second chance or promise to fix your mistakes. You’ll keep pushing your points and think that since she’s not answering you right away; you’re getting through to her. You’re not. You’re just making her uncomfortable. All you’re doing is making yourself appear needy. She’s not going to forget this behavior down the line when you try to win her back.
Agree to Some Space
The best thing you can do in this scenario aside from not putting up a fight at all is to actually agree with her. She’s not going to be expecting this reaction. None of her carefully involved scenarios that she practiced before the breakup speech involved your agreement. You just beat her at her own game. She’ll start thinking back to your relationship and wonder why she never realized that you were unsatisfied in the relationship as well.
No woman of any age wants to feel like they made their boyfriend unhappy. She’s okay with leaving because she’s unsatisfied, but she doesn’t want to feel that from you. She’s going to be shocked and everything she believed about you before the breakup will be turned on its head. She is going to start second-guessing a lot of things – and her decision to end the relationship is right at the top of the list.
Things to Say in a Breakup
Keep in mind that the less you say the better. You don’t want to start talking only to realize that you can’t stop. Your foot will end up in your mouth before you even knew what went wrong. If you’re going to say something at all, keep it concise.
“Things haven’t been going that well in our relationship, I agree. We’ve both avoided this talk for a long time, and some time away will probably do us both some good”
Don’t get sucked into a prolonged discussion from this point. Don’t try to work anything out. Simply wish her well, give her a hug and leave the conversation and the room. She may follow you and attempt to keep the conversation going. She may start asking you questions or demanding answers. Don’t give in to her requests. You’re not obligated to give her any answers anymore – she ended the relationship. You have changed the rules of the game and the chips haven’t even had the chance to hit the floor.
Post Breakup Tips
If you already went through the breakup and you didn’t know how to react, you shouldn’t worry too much. There is still hope. There are certain things that can be done in almost any situation that can recap the situation and let her know that you’re accepting of the situation and you’re starting to get on with your life.
To start the process, you need to be willing to cut off contact for a period of time. By avoiding contact in any way for a couple of weeks, your ex’s natural reaction will be to wonder why you’re not trying to get in touch – and what you’re doing instead.
While she already has you on her mind, you can write her a brief note. In order to be the most effective, it should be written by hand and not typed out. Simply say that she was right after all – that you think that ending the relationship was the best thing to do. Keep it to fewer than three sentences long, and then mail it. As tempting as it may be to just leave it somewhere for her to find or drop it off at her apartment, don’t. Then let it go.
This will immediately trigger the same reactions in your ex-girlfriend that accepting the breakup from the beginning would have had. She’ll want to know exactly what triggered your change of heart and whether or not you’re getting on with your life. Your ex is counting on the chase, even if she’s not ready to restart a relationship with you. You’re reversing roles and making her want to chase you instead.
Mass Appeal – Get Her to Want You Again
Getting an ex back in your life isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t require an underground lab and years of careful planning. The less you do to make your goal a reality, the better off you’ll be. How often do you miss the people that you see every day? Do you spend a lot of time missing the people that you just spent all day around? Probably not. Do you miss your co-workers when you leave the office for the day even though you will see them tomorrow? Missing someone requires an absence and if there’s no absence, you can’t miss them.
If you drop off the radar for a little bit, your ex will start to miss you naturally and you don’t have to do a thing. It may not happen on the first day or two, but it will happen. Her self-confidence is counting on your renewed interest even though the relationship has ended. She will be looking around for you before you know it.
When your ex girlfriend gets back in touch with you, you will need to know how to respond in a way that retains her interest and stoke her desire for you again. If you don’t pull this off properly, she will start to pull away from you again and move on.
Michael Fiore is a Seattle based relationship and dating coach who burst into the spotlight back in early 2010 with the release of his popular program, Text The Romance Back. The program was later released into the Clickbank Marketplace in March of 2011 allowing it to grow by leaps and bounds.
Michael Fiore is known as the man with the “magic thumbs” because what sets him apart from other dating coaches is his focus on teaching men and women how to improve their relationships via the power of text messages.
Through the Text The Romance Back system Mike Fiore has proven text messages can be a very powerful tool for creating romance, developing intimacy, strengthening connections, and improving relationships for both men and women. He has even caught the attention of the Rachel Ray Show, sex advice columnists, mainstream media, and Eastern European Clerics.
The recent release of the Text Your Ex Back Michael Fiore program has created quite a buzz in the world of dating and relationships. Most advice aimed at how to get your ex back tells you not to text your ex after a breakup. However, Michael’s program changes all that and may be the one exception to the rule.
However, even Michael admits you shouldn’t just rush out and start texting your ex, “First of all, you should leave a 30 day gap before starting to use Text Your Ex Back (or any program for that matter.) Even if you’ve been broken up for a while, if you’re in contact with your ex, you should leave a full month where you don’t talk to him/her at all. From there it’s a matter of accumulating “little wins” with your ex.”
The “little wins” Michael talks about are things like just getting your ex to respond and then having a conversation over text that YOU end first. From there’s it’s just a matter of following Michael’s proven formula and developing a new relationship with your ex over time.